Fun

[Dansken]

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people
can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain
the pens to the counters.

Only in America ! .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns
in packages of eight.

Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin
?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

[Corjack]

I really like it.

I have to add that in America we have these huge stores called Bed,Bath and Beyond. Women drag their men into these places and put them through hours of hell looking at towels,bedspeads and other matching housegoods. I think that they should come out with a mens version of this store and call it, I Eat, I sleep, I Crap. Everything will be exactly the same color, some shade of brown that does not show stains very well. You could use them until they had large holes in them and then use them for guncleaning chores. Life would be much easier then.

[Dansken]

Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a



White Trash Biker are all walking together one day.

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.



'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total',



says the Genie.



The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want
the land to be forever fertile in Canada '



POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was
forever fertile for farming.




Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan ,
Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians

can come into our precious land.'



POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall
around those countries.




The Biker says, 'I am very curious.

Please tell me more about this wall.'



The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick
and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out;

it's virtually impenetrable.'

The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigar,

smiles and says,

'Fill it with water.'

I pretty much vote this my favorite email joke of the year....

[kaptenhaddok]

[Diddas]

Laughing my ass off!

Good one!