Cowboy rules

[Dansken]

Cowboy rules are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right - your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight...it's called a "gravel road."
I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you
drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of
the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10,
I-40, I-70 and I-80 go east and west; I-17, I-15, I-25 and I-35 go
north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have
$250,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called
being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of
geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL
shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to
your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really
want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. "The Opener" refers to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of
November.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all
women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu.
Order a steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2
pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main
dishes: Meats, Vegetables and Breads. We use three spices: Salt,
Pepper and Ketchup! Oh yeah...we don't care what you folks in
Cincinnati call that stuff you eat - IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!!

13. You bring "Coke" into my house, it better be brown,
wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she
better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here
as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a
dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water
hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That
thumpity-thump crap ain't music anyway. We don't want to hear it
anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and
a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we
share in hopes that you can begin to understand what a real life is
all about!

[crowfear]

[rex.hunter]

+1

/Rex